The Plucky Squireis a vibrant little indie charmer that loves to surprise. In fact, it delivers a big one right out of the gate as what initially appears to be a simple (if lavishly rendered) 2D adventure in a storybook takes a screeching turn for the meta when titular squire Jot is ejected from the page and into our world.
This creative, winking approach continues into the boss fights, which all offer something completely different from one another. Will you be tackling a turn-based battle inside a trading card? Helping a muscular Jot enact a Punch-Out parody? Or contending with a knockoff of Puyo Puyo? You’ll be running the genre gamut, so we’ve ranked all these daft duels.
Brave adventurers, take heed! There areunmarked spoilers galore for every major boss in The Plucky Squireahead. Given that a large part of the game’s appeal is discovering all its twists and turns for yourself, we advise you to exercise caution.
7The Honey Badger
He Don’t Give A… Well, You Know How That One Goes
Honey badgers, true to their much-memed reputation, are among the most easily irritable critters in the animal kingdom – and it would seem that tradition is upheld, even in cutesy cartoon form. The very first boss you’ll encounter in the Land of Mojo, this mammalian meanie is slurping up the honey you need for your tutorial quest.
In terms of the battle, there isn’t a great deal to say, other than it’s a blatant pastiche of Punch-Out that’s over in seconds. Jot gains roughly 200lbs of muscle for the fracas, and with a few measly stabs of the punch button, the Honey Badger’s out for the count. Given that the fight happens in the opening five minutes of the game, you can’t expect too much; but it makes this brief bash-up a shoo-in for the bottom spot.
6The Big Bug
Archery Minigames Are Never Fun
Alongside underwater levels and stealth sections, archery minigames are among that persistent breed of gaming elements that surely no-one can honestly claim they enjoy, yet developers keep including them regardless. Frankly, we blame Zelda – and if even Nintendo can’t make ‘em work, no other studio has a prayer. The fight against the Big Bug in The Plucky Squire, then, does nothing to break the losing streak.
In short, this boss is miserable. Seeing Jot all roided up again remains amusing; but the aiming reticle’s sluggish, the hit detection’s poor, and the Bug seems to enjoy spamming unreactable swarms of minions at you. It’s the first real choke point in the campaign, and makes us very thankful for the ‘skip minigame’ option in the pause menu.
Despite its jankiness, the Big Bug ranks above the Honey Badger – albeit solely because it’s anactual fightthat doesn’t conclude as soon as it begins.
5The Mega Eagle
Beat The Beat In Rhythm Hell
One of Jot’s two party members, Thrash, takes centre stage for his own boss battle. Being that he’s a musically-inclined mountain troll, the brawl against the Mega Eagle is right up his alley: it’s a rhythm game, and it’s (almost) as unforgiving as anything you’ll find in Rhythm Heaven.
To its credit, the game lets you practice against ghostly Great Uncle Krong a few scenes prior to the main fight – but that still isn’t enough to prepare you for the punishing timing windows this bird chucks your way. You’ll have to have lightning-fast fingers, the volume cranked way up… and a resigned acceptance of the fact you’ll die a fair few times.
4The Mage
Did Sonic Team Do It Better?
Sweet, insecure Violet is the empath of the party, and she comes armed with a magic wand/paintbrush she’s no great shakes at using. Luckily, she comes into her own over the course of the story, aided in no small part by an encounter with a devilish Mage barring the team’s passage.
Anyone with even a passing familiarity with puzzle games will recognise this setup: it’s Puyo Puyo, complete with multicoloured orbs to match and rows to clear. Sonic Mania (from Sega, publishers of Puyo Puyo) also had a boss fight like this, and it’s tough not to draw comparisons… not all of them favourable. Still, the adorable animations of Violet eagerly deploying her moves in the corner lend enough charm to elevate her fight over Thrash’s.
3Giant Sawblade Machine
At Least It’s Not A Paper Shredder
Whereas all the other bosses in The Plucky Squire take the form of some sort of genre-bending minigame, this hulking mechanical monstrosity stands out for being the only one to make use of the actual game mechanics. Hopping between the 2D realm of the book and the real world beyond, you and Thrash must co-operate to toss a wrench or ten in the works.
It’s raw action from front to back in this fight: Jot has to use his stamps to paralyze the spinning blades, while Thrash moves in to unplug a core component. All the while, you’re being harangued by enemy guards, so you’d better have a grip of the combat system to dispatch them quickly. Oh, and the machine can defy the fabric of reality by launching bombs into the 3D world with you. So there’s that too.
2Alowynia The Ranger Elf
MTG’s Lawyers Are On The Phone
Turn-based RPG parodies have been done to death by now – which means it’s a testament to the giant heart of The Plucky Squire that it manages to pull one off while still feeling fresh. Sporting a design that doubtless prompted innumerable fan-artists to whip out their tablets, Alowynia is the occupant of a trading card that you enter in search of a long-range weapon.
Alowynia’s bow proves to be just the ticket, but she’s not giving it up without a fight. Alternating between regular physical attacks and a ‘talk’ option, diplomacy will ultimately be the key to your victory. As will the intervention of your bookworm sidekick, Page, who pops in from time to time to replenish your health. Now that’s just cheating!
1Sorcerer Humgrump
It’s Like If Ganon Discovered The Fourth Wall
The Plucky Squire’s resident villain, the devious wizard Humgrump, is one of its highlights. Though in the prologue he appears to be nothing more than a paper-thin Saturday morning cartoon baddie, he soon tips his hand. He’s become aware they’re all just characters in a book, and intends to rewrite the story to his own ends. It makes for an intriguing conflict, as you’re up against a foe with the ability to alter existence itself.
It should come as no surprise, therefore, that the climactic duel with Humgrump is the best boss, hands down. Finally sick of Jot’s persistence - and after a long string of ‘hard mode’ versions of Thrash’s and Violet’s earlier fights - he exits the book to take on the squire in the real world. The throwdown is nothing short of epic, with Humgrump morphing into an Andross-esque abomination and Jot jetpacking around with weapons to finally take down the metaphysical menace. It’s a good thing the humans never walked in; therapy for life if they did!
