What is there to say about aSpongeBob SquarePantsgame that’s finally not centered around the titular sponge himself? Surprisingly, more than you’d expect, but less than you’d hope.
The easiest way to describeThe Patrick Star Gameis that it’s Nickelodeon’s attempt to replicate the Goat Simulator series: a pure sandbox map, no real objectives or plot, with quests and activities to undertake from a familiar cast of characters. It’s a separation from the platforming-centric entries of Battle for Bikini Bottom and The Cosmic Shake, and a refreshing way to let us loose in this charming world. Only it never really does much to wow, doesn’t carry enough of the humour the animated series was once known for, and is - for lack of better words - quite janky. I know, so is Goat Simulator, but here it isn’t a good thing.
Before I go too far into pummelling your poor favourite starfish, let me make something clear: I still had a fun enough time playing this game, even as a 26-year-old man - but admittedly I grew up with the show it’s based on. Still, as a working adult, I probably wouldn’t have spent the £30 to £35 they’re charging for this experience. It’s not outrageous, and perhaps there’ll be more worth and longevity to keep your child entertained, but it was a higher ask than I was expecting having played it for a while.
Okay, now I’m done pummelling. This is a game where you don’t really have to think. About anything. And that’s kind of wonderful. You just run around, speak to various characters - which feature the original voice cast - and participate in some odd tasks. Dig for treasure in the dump, race around the driving school, find gloves in Glove World, or take part in an Overcooked-style minigame where you’re trying to make Krabby Patty orders in an act of free labour for a certain cheap crab. I’m glad it panned out this way; the story-driven platformers can be great, sure, but to step away in a game focused on Patrick and justdo stuff- that’s the best approach for it, I feel.
Do some kind of task that doesn’t really need an explanation, whether that be removing the public from Squidward’s sunbathing spot or skydiving with Sandy, and earn Sand Dollars. It’s not quite a real currency, though - more of a score for how much you’ve done, and the more you earn, you automatically unlock various iconic outfits calling back to classic episodes of the TV show. It’s a nice touch, and a way to get even more references in the game for fans of the series, but when it heavily relies on references over any new humour or personality, it fails to reach beyond a good experience.
In terms of it feeling quite janky, it’s a physics-based sandbox that has a dedicated option to reset the world, because it knows the world is going to get messy, quickly. But aside from times when I’d need to reset everything due to an obstacle of my own causing, there were other times when I’d need to restart a quest I’d already spent a bit of time on because it just… broke.
I’d found 24 of 30 objectives for a specific quest, and after a while of looking, none others were there. It wasn’t even across the whole map, just one specific location, and I made sure that I wasn’t missing anything - for a good hour. Sure, I can appreciate that there is an option for quest restarts, but I also wish it wouldn’t be needed. It’s otherwise a chill, simple game, so when that gets cut short and you have to backtrack, it kills some of that enjoyment quite a bit.
Still, I am aware this is a SpongeBob game, so expectations were never going to be too high. If you’re after a fun sandbox experience with plenty of outfits to unlock, activities to undertake, objectives to complete, and just an open-yet-compact Bikini Bottom to explore, then I have no doubt you’ll enjoy your time here, price tag aside. It’s probably one I’ll continue to chip away at until I get the Platinum Trophy, just because it’s one of those easy-to-play games like that.
The Patrick Star Game is fun, and to see the original cast return for it is a wonderful thing, but this deep-sea sandbox remains in relatively shallow waters despite a rich history of references and callbacks. It’s probably a safe bet to keep your kids entertained for a good while, but for us adults who still have a soft spot for SpongeBob SquarePants, this is still a solid recommendation - just when the game is on sale and you’re looking for something simple to mindlessly work away at.
Reviewed On PlayStation 5
WHERE TO PLAY
This is Patrick!Create hilarious mayhem in the open world of Bikini Bottom.Patrick fans, your time has come - and Bikini Bottom is your open-world playground! So become the Star of the show, put your silliest ideas into action, and enjoy the physics-based chaos that unfolds all around you.Fun with PhysicsTake things and push them somewhere else. Physics!From The Krusty Krab to Glove World, the SpongeBob universe is yours to goof off in. Skydive with just a parasol (or nothing at all), search for buried treasure in the Dump, or release the rage in Mrs. Puff’s Rage Room. Use almost any item you can find, from the reef blower to a can of paint, to change the world into Patrick’s dream playground.Iconic StylesUnlock classic Patrick outfits with your crazy stunts and collectibles.Take on challenges only Patrick would attempt, set up by your best friends like SpongeBob, Sandy Cheeks, Mr. Krabs, and … Plankton. Or do absolutely nothing, for longer than anyone else can possibly manage - it’s your world to be as Patrick as possible.Everyone’s HereGet silly with SpongeBob, Squidward, Sandy, and more.So step inside one of Bikini Bottom’s most enigmatic minds, forget all the rules, and have the most hilariously unpredictable experience you can imagine!
