Summary
Chuckles is both an NPC and a Player Character in Legends of Avantris, aDungeons & Dragonsactual play. He pops up as a malignant spirit haunting Gideon in the Once Upon a Witchlight Campaign, and he takes physical form in Stardust Rhapsody, On a Silver Strand, and during the Yuletide one-shot, Twas the Night Before Witchlight.
He is a certified menace and, despite Gideon calling him a mediocre clown at best, is renowned for making everyone laugh hard enough that they can’t breathe. He’s macabre and dark, but nobody can argue that Mikey - his player - doesn’t have excellent timing, with just about every joke landing fantastically.
10“I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream… In The Terrible Housefire At The Family Reunion.”
Once Upon A Witchlight
Honestly, nobody has a single clue what Chuckles is talking about at this point, but he’s lost to the horrors of his past. Perhaps he was the one who committed them, or perhaps he was simply privy to what happened, watching the housefire at his family reunion.
Whatever the case, this quote caught the table off guard and sent everyone into a fit of laughter, even if Gideon was supposed to be the only one who could hear Chuckles sharing this, admittedly, unwanted information that left more questions than answers.
9“In Death We Are One, In Death We Are Strong, In Death We Are The Honk Legion.”
Gideon questioned why it kept being Chuckles who showed up to torment him throughout the campaign, rather than the other clown he killed, Klutzy. Unfortunately for him, there’s a decent chance that Chuckles is the Honk Legion’s spokesclown.
Before this line, Chuckles tells Gideon that Klutzy’s clown powers, unlocked postmortem, are stronger than he could possibly imagine which is… admittedly terrifying and says quite a bit about the Honk Legion. Thankfully, the Honk Legion seems to be intangible menaces, at best and one can only hope they stay that way for the sake of everything good and kind.
8“My Past Was Haunted By Crippling Loneliness And Imposter Syndrome.”
Yet another one of Chuckles’ many dark backstories, this is one that every person in pursuit of their creativity and dreams might come to experience intimately. As sad as this line is, it’s also Chuckles who is saying it, which makes it objectively hilarious.
Although given that this is only one of Chuckles’ dark backstories, one has to wonder just what led him to crippling loneliness. Perhaps it was the housefire at the family reunion. Or, perhaps, it was a set of unfortunate circumstances, and that crippling loneliness and imposter syndrome has been negated by his existence within the Honk Legion.
7“I’m Going To Commit Various Unforgiveable War Crimes! I’ll Be Wanted In Every Country!”
Look, Chuckles was asked to give a war cry, and boy oh boy did he deliver on possibly the best-worst war cry that you have ever heard. Doesn’t something like this make you want to run into battle right alongside this red-nosed menace? No? Well… you probably aren’t alone in that regard.
Which is fine, Chuckles can handle himself, and you probably don’t want to be implicated in a bunch of war crimes anyway, becausegetting arrested sounds like an absolute nightmare. Given what Chuckles talks about a lot, one has to wonder what he’d consider to be an unforgivable war crime, though…
6“Geneva Convention? More Like Geneva Suggestion.”
Chuckles is beholden to no set of laws or conventions that are designed to protect basic human morality and the humane treatment of soldiers and civilians. Chuckles is beyond us all, and his perspective on the Geneva Convention is proof of that.
Should you see Chuckles on the battlefield, don’t bother with running - it’s already too late. Instead, you should pray to whatever deity you believe in or whichever one may be listening that they grant you a quick and merciful death. Chuckles views the Geneva Convention as less like a list of “don’ts” and more like a bucket list.
5“These Unicorns Remind Me Of My OC Pony Dewdrop Starshine.”
This quote is a long one where Chuckles goes into great detail to explore just who his OC Pony Dewdrop Starshine is. She has all the special traits that a special little original character should have, like heterochromia, and special abilities that nobody else can have likeforce hea- special magical unicorn healing.
4“I Cast Gun, Prepare To Meet God.”
On A Silver Strand
Perhaps one of Chuckles’ most iconic lines, this is one that is most easily repeated. Take inspiration from Chuckles in your own campaign and cast gun. Send your enemies spiraling into the abyss of perpetual loneliness and longing so that they, too, may come up with a dark backstory that only the likes of Chukles can compete with.
This may well be one of Chuckles’ finest moments in combat and, thankfully, it does work - though he doesn’t exactly send the giant Space Kraken to God he does get it to loosen its grip on the ship.
3“With A Surgeon’s Precision, I Smash Its Skull Open! Cause Of Death? A Brain Hammerage.”
Don’t worry, there’s nothing to be scared of - Dr. Chuckles isn’t real and can’t cause you any real, palpable harm. At least, until he can. And then he does it with an expert precision that only someone with a forged medical degree who has a grand total of three months in a shady underground clinic can handle.
Not only did he fix the problem by smashing its skull open, but he also managed to diagnose it with a time of death, something that would definitely put Chuckles up as one of the best doctors to ever live. He’s got a broad skillset, folks, and he’s not afraid to use it.
2“Do You Think That The Children Have 20 Or Fewer Hit Points?”
Twas The Night Before Witchlight
This is a threat, and you should be concerned for both yourself and your children. Take them far, far away from the ice skating rink because Chuckles is a menace, and he will cause problems that will scar you deeply and immeasurably given the threat ofcommitting what probably counts as a fantasy crime.
Perhaps in this case it’s best to lie to Chuckles and tell him that yes, the children do have more than 20 hit points and he should be kept as far away from them as physically possible lest he end a family line far sooner than it was originally meant to end.
1"Why Would This Be A Weird Trip? There’s A Large Talking Mouse, I Am A Clown That Can’t Take Off My Flesh Gloves, And That Guy’s Wearing A Can Of Beans For A Hat! It’s Just A Normal Day!”
This is absolutely a weird trip, Chuckles - the most bizarre of bizarre things that one’s mind could possibly come up with, and yet, it exists. Even still, Chuckles, you beautiful, horrible, hideous former-space-clown, you just continue to roll with the punches and take things as they come.
Be he a jack-in-the-box or faced with the horrors of existence, he simply continues to persist in a way that no one person can. Although maybe this is just Chuckles' normal, and we’re all cowards for not being able to handle it.
