Summary
Once upon a time, I ended upwriting a list of video game restaurants that belong on Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares, and while I was doing that, I stumbled into an entire rabbit hole that I have been unable to escape and which has at this point come dangerously close to consuming my entire identity: the world of video games that are exclusively based on reality TV shows.
They exist, they’re weird, and frankly, I just can’t keep these games to myself anymore. Because, for as many of them are just your typical shovelware nonsense (the grand majority of them, as a matter of fact), there are some oddities in the world of reality TV video games that are just interesting enough to warrant discussion, if not celebration or recognition by any means.
Now folks, I can’t promise you quality here, but I can promise you a hefty handful ofthe downright strange.These are the most interesting video games I’ve found at the bottom of the reality TV rabbit hole.
7Hell’s Kitchen On Nintendo DS
A Bit Crushed CGI Nightmare
Thanks to the magic of YouTube, Gordan Ramsay’s ill-fated Hell’s Kitchen Wii game has become pretty common knowledge among Ramsay enthusiasts these days for its horrific CGI depiction of Gordon Ramsay, iconic and quotable lines delivered with all the nuance of a stale loaf of bread, and the infuriating but nonetheless intriguing gameplay loopmeant to simulate running a restaurant.
That being said, significantly fewer people know that there was also a DS version handled by Ubisoft, and that it’s somehow even more of an interactive kitchen nightmare here than it was on the Wii. The horrifying CGI Ramsay makes his return, and while at first I didn’t think he’d speak, owing to the general lack of voice acting in DS games compared to their console counterparts, Gordon was quick to cook that goose with some of the most bit-crushed verbal abuse I’ve ever taken in a video game.
…until I beat a stage, of course, at which point he suddenly decided to tell me he was, and I quote: “a very proud man.”. I wish I could say the same, Gordon. I really do.
6Love Island: The Game
More Like Love Money
I don’t know much about the bizarre pop-cultural icon of reality TV that is Love Island, but I do know that its premise of stranding a bunch of conventionally attractive 20 somethings on an island somewhere and not letting anything horror movie adjacent happen to any of them isn’t exactly conducive to exhilarating gameplay on paper.
I, of course, am far too proud to try explaining why my Love Island spending habits are tax right offs, and thushave yet to spend a dime.
What I could play of the game didn’t exactly feel tailored to my demographic anyway, if you know what I mean. The game advertisedin-depth character customization, but the only options not locked behind a paywall were an assortment of skin colors and a single hairstyle, with no gender options to speak of. I felt a bit exposed in the default skin, but unfortunately, they’ve locked the clothing behind a paywall, too.
5AFV On VHS
An Interactive VHS Game?
I do need to preface this one by saying that it’s not technically a ‘video game’, but seeing as how it’s a game that requires video elements to function properly, and it’s also just an incredibly bizarre product that really should have no right to exist, I feel like it’s okay to keep it on the list anyway.
Basically how it works is, you’ll need to remember clips from the popular comedy competition show to make your way around the board and win one hundred thousand big ones. The VHS tape is therefore integral to the experience, and a VHS player is likewise necessary.
Now all of that sounds normal enough, but the reason I bring it up as one of the more interesting finds in reality TV gaming is the sheer lack of information on it anywhere on earth. When I tried looking further into this literal ‘video’ game, all I found was a single Amazon listing that claims that the game has not yet been discontinued by its manufacturer and is still readily available to buy. This information is false.
The best part of all of this is that there’s a review on that Amazon listing that rates the game as five stars, before listing by name clips from the show that aren’t in the actual product, which is how I found out that America’s Funniest Videos actually has a die-hard fanbase of viewers who have chronicled, by name, every clip ever submitted to the show. I’m going to try to infiltrate this group to learn more about the game. If I haven’t published a new article in six months, it’s because the AFV fans have done me in.
There’s also a DVD game of AFV, but the VHS game’s lack of information makes it far more interesting to look into, if harder to actually play.
4Duck Dynasty
The Strangest Hunting Game Ever Made
The Duck Dynasty video game, a title I wish I’d known aboutback when I ranked hunting games, was made by Activision, and released for multiple consoles, though for today’s purposes we’ll be discussing the PlayStation 4 version.
It wants to be a sort of cozy hunting game, if such a genre exists, letting you freely roam around and do a variety of menial tasks at your own pace, which was an aspect of the game I rather enjoyed, honestly. Mostly, it’s just bizarre to see how Activision attempted to translate the television program to a playable game, with some of the jankiest assets I’ve ever seen in a game.
There are some moments where the game looks almost criminally like someone’s GMod map, and when you get visuals like that mixed with audio from the show’s cast, the results are enough to make just about anyone keel over laughing, a fate from which I was not immune.
The best part of the game isn’t the oddball collectibles, the fact that it only actually works as intended about 30 percent of the time, or the lofi banjo core soundtrack. No, the best part is that you can go air boat racing through the swampland of Louisiana. Yeehaw.
3Jersey Shore Facebook Game
The Most Compelling Reason To Flee New Jersey
I wish I could tell you this was some sort of elaborate prank, but we do in fact live in the timeline where a 2D fighting game based on hit reality TV program Jersey Shore actually got made. Players could customize their characters, supposedly have jobs, and most importantly, use various objects and set pieces from the show to beat the daylights out of their opponents.
The catch is that the only place you could do any of this was on Facebook. You read that correctly, folks. The Jersey Shore fighting game, which actually really existed, was exclusive to Facebook. Now, unfortunately, this piece of fighting game history is mostly lost to time.
It wasn’tjusta game, either. No, the Jersey Shore Facebook game was acompetition. By playing enough, you could enter to win a family dinner with Snooki and Vinny, which sounds to me like a fate worse than death, but I’m sure it got someone excited enough to play the game at some point or another.
2Cops
Atari made a video game based on Cops. I think I need to repeat that.Atari, famed and relatively beloved video game manufacturer behind Pong, the Atari 2600, and Centipede, made a single player light gunarcade gamethat was entirely based around bodycam footage of a police officer, and boy howdy is it packed to the brim with some rather questionable law enforcement decisions, let me tell you.
There’s really no easy way to put it. The game is about a police officer gunning down people as fast as possible, and for the most part, that’s just as uncomfortable an experience as you would think.
The game is also presented entirely with FMV, orfull motion video, and while that would normally do a game a lot of favors owing to the fact that FMV is hilarious and games presented in that style are typically comedy gold, here it just kind of makes the whole experience feel even more uncomfortable.
Ultimately, Cops: The Arcade Game is a very good example of the difference between how the ’90s saw law enforcement violence vs. how we look at that kind of thing today, and while it can at times be silly to play, it can also be a slightly horrifying experience if you think about what you’re doing too much. Very odd that it exists though, that’s for sure.
1The Bachelor/Bachelorette
For The Wii And The DS
The bachelor video game is a nightmarish amalgamation of dating atrocities, mangled one-liners, and perhaps worst of all…gimmicky DS and Wii-era minigames! That said, I love this game, both variants, and asking me to pick a favorite is like asking a parent to pick their favorite child. It just isn’t possible, or morally acceptable.
Neither title is extraordinarily complex. You pick between being a bachelor or bachelorette; this decision makes no real difference in what kinds of minigames you play, only in what kinds of one-liners you get rejected with (the writing in this video game will have you on the floor, by the way, it’s unintentionally hilarious) and what kinds of 3D modeled monstrocities you’re going to have to bear the company of for the next couple of hours. That’s about it, really, but that’s ultimately all it needs to be to be the greatest reality TV game ever made.
Is it good? No. Is it weird? Yes, absolutely. This is the kind of video game anomaly that gamers like me only dream of finding at a garage sale for 99 cents, and here it is, existing as shovelware for not one, but two consoles. It is, definitively, the strangest game I have ever played.
